operation harelip BJ is a go
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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