Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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