we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
