i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
