we're blogging at a bar
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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