he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
