I have demons in me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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