Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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