so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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