saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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