Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
