R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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