Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
