Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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