i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
