just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
