We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
