Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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