What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize