Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
