The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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