thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
