how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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