He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
