She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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