nut hugger
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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