i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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