you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
