But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
