you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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