Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
