I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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