i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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