That's intense
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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