Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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