i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize