i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i may or may not be watching the land before time
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
