If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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