haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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