Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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