it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
