Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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