uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
