Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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