cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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