Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
