I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
