Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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