Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
