Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
