it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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