they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
