Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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