Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
