he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
