So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
